31 Things I’ve Learned about Love in My Short Time Here on Earth

31 Things I’ve Learned about Love in My Short Time Here on Earth

 

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  1. It’s not guaranteed that we’ll get love from the people we’d like to feel it from
  2. It’s not guaranteed that we’ll get love the WAY we want from the people we wish would deliver in a specific way (even if we provide clear instructions)
  3. Love is a feeling AND a practice
  4. There is not always a direct corollary between being loved and feeling loved
  5. More people probably love you than you think
  6. Feeling love for someone, and making them FEEL loved are not the same thing
  7. The Golden Rule is a good place to start, but it doesn’t always work
  8. Not everyone wants to be loved the way YOU want to be loved
  9. Animals are great teachers in the practice of love
  10. The spontaneous love I feel for animals is something I quest for when I comes to humans
  11. Some people inspire love more spontaneously than others
  12. That doesn’t mean others are “less lovable”
  13. With our many flaws we all can benefit from the gracious allocation of love from people who have enough to give
  14. Love is a terrible catch-all term for many emotions that can come in a dizzying array of often-confusing composites…
  15. To love well, you must learn to love as many different ways as there are beings in your life
  16. Loving someone sometimes makes me bend my personal boundaries on their behalf…not always to everyone’s advantage
  17. Loving is a practice of looking deeply, understanding the suffering of another, and cultivating our capacity to remove their suffering
  18. I’m not a fan of the ooey-gooey teaching about love. It’s easy enough to say “love is the way” (#truth!), but without concrete teaching on HOW I’m left feeling incredibly unsatisfied
  19. Loving takes a strong heart. There will inevitably be pain involved
  20. A broken heart is a heart that is wide open to the world
  21. Heart practices are critical to the cultivation of a loving countenance and behaviors
  22. It’s helpful to others if we have an idea of how we would like to be loved. It begins to create a roadmap. Whether or not the people around us will use it is an entirely separate matter
  23. Love early and often. Better to speak our minds and hearts than to regret later that we didn’t
  24. A helpful question to guide our behavior is “what would love do?”
  25. Time spent loving is never time wasted
  26. I’d like to believe that everyone is born capable of loving
  27. I’d bet that the loving a human receives early on directly impacts their capacity to learn loving behaviors later
  28. “Deserving” is a loaded word when it comes to love
  29. Love can be transactional, and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing
  30. I’m not sure unconditional love really exists, or if it does it is exceedingly rare
  31. “The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom” ~bell hooks

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3 Ways to Turbo Charge Your Affirmations

3 Ways to Turbo Charge Your Affirmations

bali sky shipI’ve always been suspicious of affirmations. They sound like New Age Big Brother, or the kinds of lies that the computer in 2001 tells just before he kills you.

That said, it is true—your thoughts are powerful, and where you put your attention, things will grow. In fact it is a law of creation: Your thoughts beget your speech. Your speech creates your behaviors. Your behavior determines your destiny.

But, I’ve found that in order to really get affirmations to be effective, you have to do these three things.

  1. Make them Yourself. Do NOT adopt the ideas or positive candy-thoughts of other people. Why? Because affirmations must be anchored in something real and truthful. Telling yourself repeatedly things like “Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy” (recommended by Dr. Carmen Herra) when it’s clearly a LIE will only serve to create cognitive dissonance, which will turn your thoughts more and more to the fact that you are lying to yourself.
  1. Ground them in Truth. Taking the above example, what would be more useful is something like this: “It is true that today I am experiencing sadness and I’m feeling tired. But I have a CHOICE about how to react to these sensations. I will look deeply into WHY I’m sad and tired, and seek to resolve these experiences as their root.”
  1. Connect them with Movement: When you have thoughts, they don’t live only in your head. Other parts of you are capable of “thinking”—your guts are a great example. Your heart feels and thinks too. Bringing your affirmations into a physical practice—yoga is my preferred method, but you might like running or swimming or dancing—this will help to communicate with ALL parts of your being. When you engage your WHOLE body—not just your brain—it magnifies the power of your thinking.

Try these tips, and then share in the comment section how they work for you!